Today I had a manager come up to me, asking me if I'd had a conversation with a customer, which I had not. I asked why he thought it was me. The manager (F) explained that the customer described me.
Me: "Oh, did he use my name?"
F: "No. No name."
Me: "How do you know he was talking about me?"
F: "He said it was the tall blonde working the desk. Built [at this point F kinda made a cringe face] heavy set."
Me: "Oh. yep. That's me."
I didn't let on, but I wanted to die. And I'm not sure why, really. It's like, no hiding me. I'm fat. I get it.
But it's also the very first time that I've ever been aware of someone describing me as "heavy set".
It was a slap in the face. It was humiliating. It was embarrassing. It was depressing. It was motivating. It was inspiring. It was a kick in the ass.
Which I apparently needed.
I really don't know how to stop being this way...but I need to. I really do.
Why couldn't getting skinny be nearly as easy as getting fat was?
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oh my dear I so know how you feel. I haven't been put in that spot before but I just sit there and imagine what people are saying about me.
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