it's the quiet times in love that count the most.

There's the grand fanfare that accompanies the beginning of every relationship. The constant sighs of contentedness, the furtive glances in each other's direction, the blushes and giggles, the holding of hands, the stolen kisses.

And then ... life kinda takes over. The stolen kisses become more sparse, the hand holding is replaced by kids, and wallets, phones, tv remotes...you know. Life. The furtive glances become exhausted stares, and the sighs of content become sighs of frustration.

yep.

life.

But...life goes on, and love will either grow or die. It's what you do with the love in those quiet times. Do you water it? Or ignore it? Do you nourish it with little, thoughtful things? Like...a little snuggle before getting out of bed? Or changing the toilet paper roll when it's empty? Or...what about making their favorite dinner? Surprising them with a single flower. Making the bed while he's in the shower? Fluffing the other's towel in the dryer while they bathe?

So many little, quiet ways of saying "I love you." Sometimes ... it's those quiet little whispers that make the impact, far deeper of an impact than the resounding crashes.

So go love.

Quietly.
Loudly.

And do it, without expect for return. Do it to show them. Not so they can show you.

xxxkissesxxx

zee count is on.

See that? -------->>

That is a countdown clock. It's approximate. But...by golly, I do believe I have made it into the double digits.

Wow. I really wonder if it's gonna happen. I absolutely cannot wait. Thrilled doesn't even begin to explain how happy I am.

He is amazing.

Together we are unstoppable.

What we have...it's beautiful. :)

I love him.

10/10/10

That day screams and oozes sex. The Roman Numerals are XXX. Sexy? Hell Yes. Seductive? mhhhmmmm. Scandalous? But..of course.

I wonder if I'll be able to partake of scandal that day? Doubtful, as the boyfriend will be back home.

Thank god for Skype.

.:le sigh:.

I know that someday...everything will fall into place.

Someday I'll look back and go "Ohhhhhhhhh....." as I see how it all fits together.

Until then I just sit here, and wonder "Why?"

The Grand Scheme of Things....

Prospective.

It's all about prospective.

I can sit here, whine, weep, mope and complain because "Waaah Poor me. My boyfriend is in Germany and poor pitiful me. I have a physically taxing job, because waaah poor me I just had surgery a few months ago." Boo. Freaking. Hoo.

Here's my yaylist:

• I have an amazing boyfriend. The best in all the world. and i know so because...well. He's around the world. ;)
• I have 3 great kids that I adore with all of my heart.
• I have a great job, keeps me on my toes, and my mind sharp.
• I have health insurance and it covered my surgery.
• I have amazing parents who have supported me and helped me through one of the darkest years of my life.
• I have my own home.
• I have a few friends. Close. Personal Great. Friends. I'd take a small handful of amazing friends over a crap-ton of flaky, fake so-called friends.
• Oh em gee...I'm on a laptop. Using my wifi. Watching my 32" HDTV.

It's a rough life, right?

Perspective. :)

Make it stop. Mayyykkkkeee it stoooopppp!!!

My brain. I've been faking this smart thing all day. It really needs to stop. That said, here I go.

Predestination.

How completely boring, and unimaginative is that? To believe that EVERYTHING is predestined? I don't know. I used to believe in it. And I still believe that EVERYTHING happens for a reason, but I do not believe that everything is predestined. I think that things change, courses redirect through choices and happenstance.

What is the point of living a life, no matter the length, if we're already predestined to do whatever it is we're supposed to do??

And ... just another thought. Does that mean that rapists, murderers, criminals of every sort are predestined to be that way? Or is it through events and choices that made them such?

And what about the amazingly beautiful handicapable? Was it predestination that decided that they would be frowned upon and ridiculed throughout their lives? How is THAT fair? I just...I don't see how God...ALL loving that He is...would predetermine someone to that kind of life. Truthfully, it hurts me, to the very core, to know that people think that God would do that. Oh they would never admit it, but acceptance and belief in predestination is just that.

And as a side bar, I truly believe that it's us "normal" people who are the ones that have the handicaps.

To simply love, it's a gift. One that many of us do not have.

Okay. Off my box. Just heard someone say something that made me think about this.

♪♫ kisses ♫♪

Fail.

Hm. Apparently I could be a ripe candidate for Failblog, seeing as how I cannot even get past 2 posts. Wow.

Epic.

Anyways...It has been a busy year thus far. Work, kids. Work, Kids. Kids. Work. Exercise. Run around like a chicken missing that vital cranial attachment. So on and so forth.

Ya know. Normal run of the mill stuff.

So I recently came across this makeup artist that I lurve. Her name is Kandee Johnson. Click on her name there, and you'll be transported to a far cooler, way more fun, and drastically more cheerful blog than mine.

But ... Kandee..she's really inspired me. Without knowing her true story, which I"ll most likely never know (I try to avoid that damn rumor mill)...All I know is that she's had a rough go. I've heard it said she has three kids. Maybe she's even said it on a blog or vlog somewhere. But I've yet to see it. Either way, she has inspired me. I actually put my face on almost every single day now. And I do my hair. ohhai...wot? yup. mhm. me. Taking time. For me.

.:legasp:.

I feel happier (most days), far more confidant then I ever have in my life, and I'm inspired. Yes. Inspired. As I said just a few sentences ago, she's had a rough go, and yet...she's living. She's not curled up into a ball, crying, wishing everything bad would just go away.

She's living. Shopping. Laughing. Loving. Having fun. wearing FUN clothes, and doing FUN stuff. I know her life is not all glamorous. I'm not completely delusional. But...she has fun. She's living her dream (so far as I can tell). and she is HAPPY. She seems to be the sweetest, most caring person.

And ... reading her blogs. Watching her videos on Youtube..it's all been so eye opening for me. She hasn't said anything specifically that's created this change. One that has, most likely, been a long time coming. But she has definitely helped push it along. Without even knowing it. yeah, I could leave a comment about it on her blog, or her FB...but she gets so many. I truly doubt she would even see the affect that she has had in my life.

I wish her .... a hundred fold...the help that she has given to me. And so many other women in this world. She really has no clue how much she is doing in this minuscule little planet, in the grand scheme of things.

Kudos, Kandee. Job well done. :)

And you look great doing it.